8.18

I realize I have dreamed this before once. Always starting in a large mall. I am excited about buying something. That excitement changes into having a baby. Now I am not me. I am a woman. She is tall and thin. She has a short forties, black bob. Herr husband is tall and old, he wears glasses down his nose. When he was young he shot his brother with a rifle in a fit of rage and no one but me knows it was him. he left his rifle in a closet without telling the woman, the woman I am for the dream. She, her husband and three close friends stay in a family cabin in the woods of Canada. She will have a baby at the end of their stay. Her closest friend is a middle aged black woman and they know each other better than sisters. her and other friends are their older professor, and another woman who drinks a lot. The drinker dies in teh first 2 months. The old professor dies a month later. The woman gets in a fight with her husband and he leaves the cabin. it is the tenth month and the woman knows the baby has died within her. She sees dead babies in her cup of tea every morning. Her best friend takes the last month with her in the cabin to recover and they make depressing jokes until the woman gets over it. She is strong and a doctor tells her she will still be able to have a child. Her and her friend pack up the cabin and go home. She finds the rifles and she knows the story. She blames the husband for the loss of her child by keeping a cursed weapon. Blood spills through the cabin. In a sunny southern place she sits with her best friend and toasts with some wine. She is holding her baby. She killed the husband.