09.21.11

My contacts wouldn't go back in and my eyes were bleeding. I cried waking up. We were like transformers before that. We would turn into motorcycles and drive around really really fast.

09.16.11

My friend came over and we started to make out but then my dad came home and saw us through the door and said that he didn't want me to be infidelities incarnate. So I stopped and made the guy leave.

09.14.11

I am in the Weston's home and they are smoking while I look at my reading list. Then I am the caretaker of some special children and we are attacked by their parents. they are all scared and I am trying to help them escape to the safe house. I think I get every one as I watch the house get burned down. We run to the safe house and all their parents are there, only they are good and not trying to kill us anymore.
I am kissing my husband before we go ou to fight in the war. This younger girl is getting ready and she tries to hit on him but he just laughs and looks at me saying 'they don't remember the last one'. When we come back she has died in battle and I gather her things for her mother.

09.10.11

I got a letter and it was just like it always was. My godbrother texts me and says that he as a phone again and where did we leave off in our last message.

09.08.11

Me and my boyfriend's sister are doing make up in her car driving down the road listening to crapy but fun music.

9.02.11

Me and my friends are going to the airport. Everyone is mad at me cause I have to miss the trip to go help this lady clean her house. She lives in a pretty new england looking neighborhood, but her house is a seventies modern style with greys and blacks. She has me taking these flowers that are growing in her pond (like lilies only with queen anne tops) out over the water and plant then in lines outside the water. It fades away to a big field. I am walking on a light brown dirt path and I swerve off it to stand by this young man. I know him, but I do not know him. he embraces me and I feel total peace and safety. Then i am walking back into the house and the flowers are all done for me. My boyfriend and his friends are having dinner in the house so I join them.

08.03.11

We are at the zoo and all the animals are dead, but one of the pens is open so we go in. I think they are giant sheep but they are white fuzzy bears. We get squeezed between two bears and then we start floating down a river by some very tall cliffs. I am asked why I look so glum and I say I hav a shore throat. then we are playing with broken sticks to see who gets to jump off the waterfall.

08.01.11

A cheating dream. Really not important. My boyfriend video taped some other girl naked. I got mad. Killed them.

07.30.11

I had sex with myself. My clone. I have to say this was very interesting. We were in a shower garden and it was surprisingly not sexual. Then we had tea.

07.29.11

I was Fanny Price from Jane Austen's story. Only modern day and I was friends with the eldest sister. the younger only stole my things. We were going to go to the university and so  me and the eldest were packing our things and playing with make up. I ran out with my stuff into the woods and we had to hide because her father didn't want us to go.

07.25.11

I cut my hair really really short and then I cried. Also I was groped in a hallway, but I really liked it hee hee. I was dreaming about something really important it seems but I do not remember.

07.22.11

with a great old party friend in a friends house. Lots of girls and one guy. No one was paying me any attention so I started to play the piano. Then when the girls left, he came over and started touching me. My friend came back and I knew I had to go so we walked outside and it was snowing. She smiles really big at me and says that she misses me.

07.20.11

At a youth group function and I was a part of things again, laughing in a big circle. Then at dinner my old teacher was talking with my new boyfriend. He took a lot of food. I felt the urge to be a great help again to our group and then a story was told of my old teacher buying a beach airport to save dumbledor the trouble of bringing home all the elephants because his airport was flooded....?

Unknown

We were running from someone. Through a city at night, all the lights were on. We ran into a parking garage with glass french doors. We did on the lowest flour. An old homeless woman with a shopping cart told us we could hide there for a bit. She told the people chasing us some story and then it got really really cold. I was scared out of  my mind. My boyfriend ran out to find help and the woman told me suddenly that I couldn't stay. I went to walk around the garage and it turned into a ballpark. There was music and i was alone in one of the high up boxes. I just curled up and went to sleep, in my dream.

07.18.11

Under a white circus tent. Helping one of my old friends pack giant things in a giant box. Like a detergent bottle that is taller than me. Her dad is there, he died when she was small. Me and my friend hung out for a little bit and she had 'Lucy Cullyford Babbit' written on her arm. We talked and we said how much we missed each other.

07.04.11

In the car I fall asleep. Dream that I am the same as when I was awake but suddenly some of my friends are in the back seat, including a past away friend. Then they are in front of me and one of them turns and slams a large object at my head. I yell. It was only a few seconds of a dream...
I was Asleep for 35 min before I jumped up yelling.

06.15.11

Transporting through a swing to help the stars survive. I am missing prom, but I am falling up to the stars.

06.08.11

I dreampt I was being followed by a large red stripped glossy snake.

06.01.11

...I am an Hitler's agent's lover. it was strange. We are in a broken city, it is snowing. We are on the same side but I keep from losing him by becoming hitler for a few weeks. He captures me and thinks I am hitler so I tell him who I am and we rejoice and run away. W. T. F.

05.30.11

The name starts with a and k. I had to cross a great river on a 2 ft wide bridge riding a horse that galloped. I don't really understand. I had a few lucid dreams about being a pirate. POC was what I watched before I fell asleep lol

05.28.11

I am a wolf. I am a human woman. I am my brother's sister. He brings me to a place where some life time friends are. Just images. They look knowingly at me. Then my mate. I become human again but he lunges from the shadows as i go for his neck with my teeth. I feel joy and confusion. We fight and tear at eachother. 'Why? are we fighting for something? I will not submit' he looks at me with his man face. He calls me something and I call him...My phone wakes me up.
I go back to sleep and he is choking me. Suffocating me.

04.09.11

I decided to go to catch a fish and swim in this inlet. I was on a great green island and there were cliffs everywhere with trees at the apex of them. There were boats, and small cabins and I was dancing to this strange song. I noticed it was getting dark and so I started to leave. The one singing the song was surprised. I walk up the muddy path with no shoes on. I am not sure if i was even wearing clothes. As I walked a great big hawk flew over and called out a warning. I started running and saw stars apear wherever the hawk flew. I climbed the crags and I spot a dark hole. A great beast lives there. I just know it. So I begin to speed up. I hear, I am not sure what. But I pass hole after hole. I knew I was going to die and I knew I was too close so as I came up to the tallest point I jump over the cliff and see darkness. I barely grab on to the rock and hold on. I become lucid and know I am dreaming but I hear the strange song again and I climb up. I was okay but i was so close to dark that I just woke up.

Meditating that same day:
He flew over the canopy. I felt the earth under my body, sticks and cold stones. He flies down and covers me in feathers. He let me curl up and he gives me his strength.

03.10.11

We held objects over dying spots in the ground and I was an expert of restoring the land.

03.07.11

I dreamed I was imprisoned in this house from my childhood dreams. It is a wooden maze-like house and no matter where you go you cannot actually get out. Except for a large balcony and the roof. I fall in love with this other prisoner, F. and He keep helping me try to escape, but I stay cause he wont leave and then I begin to die. I wake up resigned because once I died F left.

03.02.11

I get married, but stuff keeps getting in the way right before we get married. Like I have to go and kill someone at that exact second. I am an assassin fiance I guess. Laugh out loud.

02.21.11

I find out I am prego and move to Italy. Wake up totally relieved. Sort of. lol

02.20.11

I was in a car accident and sitting on the side of the road. I feel a real, very real sense of loss but I have no way of telling who it was...

02.18.11

On a bridge with my boyfriend. He looks to my left behind me and a man is rushing towards me. I feel him almost and then I wake up sweating and heart racing. I was only asleep for a few seconds.

02.12.11

In an old family friend's trailer park. I am nursing a very dear friend back to health and then he asks for money. I say no and he says that I am being fair. Then a woman comes and takes him, Shelly something. My boyfriend hugs me and tells me that he hates me in my ear and then bites the flesh out of my shoulder. I cry in the bed of a truck but I am not bleeding anymore.

01.11-02.8

A few dreams about being skinned alive and one of me hiding under a table.

01.18.11

In washington, tornados are everywhere and it is flooding. They tel me to pack my things and it is not the room I have now, but it has all my stuff in it. We barely make it before it is demolished. me, a little girl and a man. I notice I think I am older too. We drive till we hit water and catch a boat. We get to an old fashioned hotel. There is no one there. We climb to the top of a hill outside and look around to see what is going on. Everything is covered by tornados in a bird's eye view. They are short and wide tornados and they are jumping around like something from Disney' Fantasia. They hop over a the Columbia, but I do not care. No one I know or love is there for some reason. The man with me says we need to get to Kilgari. The little girl starts to wave down some soldiers but they yell telling us they are going to the port. We can leave with them. I feel relief just as I see a small tornado burn down the hotel...interesting. It turns to look at us and it is suddenly a bunch of large men. I am confused. I wake up.

01.10.11-01.16.11

The dream of being skinned alive...
A dream where I am hiding under a table...
A very cold dream where I am utterly alone and scared...

01.08.11

I was horrified and scared when I awoke. I even screamed as I came awake. However, I do not remember what it was.

12.20

Delta, my cat, died and I cried and cried. I woke up and she was sleeping right on my head.

12.12

I did not dream for more than a second. I was reading a list of books I have read.

12.05

My ex's step mother, and some girls I used to know form my old church are whispering to me. I was at a mall where you can get you hair done by magic kiosks. When I noticed they were all distressed by something. I go to the van we have, where the mother tells me it is time to lose my faith and points to one of the girls. They call the old organ player and all the girls are holding hands. At first he tells me 'It is Carley", but it is not who we thought at first. It is the other girl in our group. These are what I hear in my mind. But I have no way of knowing what it meant.

12.04

I was wiped for not putting an Ikea desk together right. I was sent to an old family friend's trailer. I watched as the character from my book was raped and forced to perform many things on a man and then I fainted from fear as they came for me. I woke in a room watching my best friend get shot and as I tried to save her my other friend is crying in this room, and my boyfriend is getting shot as well. He wasn't dying but the blood kept pouring out and sliding down his face. He kept licking at it like tears. I couldn't find my voice to yell at him.

12.01

I had two babies and two kittens. I had to keep rescuing them from being hit by cars and electrocuted. one lady sped up to hit them and I saved them all. We had christmas and we painted dancing figures all over the walls and windows.
I was made of cotton candy and everything was fluffy and sweet and then it rained...wow.

11.29

Daemon...oh deary me. From Dark Jewels Trilogy. I had claws and I could slice through flesh. I grew wings and I could fly like none other.

11.23

Me and my boyfriend were stuffing ourselves with this white powder in fistfuls. He kept saying it would be fine and then it all went dark. I woke up in my dream frail, wounded and smaller. everything hurt and if anyone touched me it bruised me. Everyone sent me stuff, like flowers and cards, but no one came except my boyfriend.

The Fear (11.12-11.17)

I dreamed people were peeling my skin off my body. It hurt and I was numb too. I couldn't move or even make a sound, just sob silently with my salty tears burning my open flesh.

11.07-11.11

My godbrother died. I couldn't get there in time to help him. They said he killed himself. I dreamed this for four nights and finally called him to make sure he was alive. He was happy. On the fifth night I dreamed we were married to each other, laughter, and we were happy.

11.01

Small larva with puffy, glossy white bodies all bulbous and thick with black heads like caterpillars were sticking their pointy tongues into my feet and I felt the pain of it. I was supposed to be working on something, but I couldn't finish it because I had to keep pulling these creatures out of my feet.

10.15

I was holding a baby, with his face in my hair. He spoke, 'you know I am not an infant' and he had glowing tattoos on his back. Then I cheated on my boyfriend with the guy from Veronica Mars ( I was watching that show every night, btw) and I didn't want to. My boyfriend came home, but he said it was okay. Laugh out fucking loud. I felt horrible so I dumped him and I fell asleep in my dream crying, when I woke up my boyfriend was there and telling me everything was okay. "why are you in my house?" I said and he said "I have been here since yesterday, silly."I was really awake.

10.2

I dreamed I was at a school for people to do parkour and Logan from Veronica Mars was a new student. I didn't really care but he chose me to show him around. So we ran from everyone for days and he kissed me. Apparently I really liked it but i said no way and that I was sorry because I have a boyfriend. My dreams are dumb -.-

9.27

I do not remember well but I had a gun and my boyfriend was apologizing and someone was whispering in my ear.

9.17

My dad drove My boyfriend over to our house.

9.13

There were swirling rainbow tornados, like green and purple ones. My grandma came and at dinner told us we must come with her to this trailer park and I was holding delta, my cat, when the tornados hit. I had lost delta until everything stopped and she waited to run out of the woods to me. She was covered in blood but as I checked her she was not harmed. There were like three dead animals behind her though. 0.~

9.11

Do not quite remember the dream, but I woke up with a sense of need to do something. And assumed I had a book of healing in my hands. When I found I did not. I wasn't worried, I said 'I can do it without the book', and went back to sleep.

8.18

I realize I have dreamed this before once. Always starting in a large mall. I am excited about buying something. That excitement changes into having a baby. Now I am not me. I am a woman. She is tall and thin. She has a short forties, black bob. Herr husband is tall and old, he wears glasses down his nose. When he was young he shot his brother with a rifle in a fit of rage and no one but me knows it was him. he left his rifle in a closet without telling the woman, the woman I am for the dream. She, her husband and three close friends stay in a family cabin in the woods of Canada. She will have a baby at the end of their stay. Her closest friend is a middle aged black woman and they know each other better than sisters. her and other friends are their older professor, and another woman who drinks a lot. The drinker dies in teh first 2 months. The old professor dies a month later. The woman gets in a fight with her husband and he leaves the cabin. it is the tenth month and the woman knows the baby has died within her. She sees dead babies in her cup of tea every morning. Her best friend takes the last month with her in the cabin to recover and they make depressing jokes until the woman gets over it. She is strong and a doctor tells her she will still be able to have a child. Her and her friend pack up the cabin and go home. She finds the rifles and she knows the story. She blames the husband for the loss of her child by keeping a cursed weapon. Blood spills through the cabin. In a sunny southern place she sits with her best friend and toasts with some wine. She is holding her baby. She killed the husband.

8.09

I dream fiercely...I still feel the loss. She is my daughter, I know her name. She has a huge smile, tiny fingers, tiny toes, golden reddish curls and green blazing eyes. She is taken from me. I fight for so long. I always wake up fighting. I hate this dream.

8.08

Only a vague recollection of chasing someone.

8.05

Me and my boyfriend are traipsing around an old elementary school. We are much younger and we begin to climb this fence. Laughing he swings around  but when I try it bends down by the road and I realize I am about to break the fence so I jump off and roll over to a curb. As I stand he is on the other side of a fence. "what if I fail you?", he asks me. I break the fence with one tug and I wonder if he can get through the hole. He crawls through and we run off to play another game.

8.04

I dream of hell. I had fallen. It was a realm of towering bookshelves. Out of the crevasses in the shelves children are swarming out like bees. A great woman made of fire and rocks and coals, is flying out to fight them off. She is enjoying her self and battles with other great creatures like her. They all seam to be fighting the children into a stream, leading into a room and filling it up. I wake up.
I dream again of being halloween at my old acquaintance's house. This guy who is supposed to be dating me isn't paying attention to me and he wont look at me. He is leaving and the police are coming. I feel it is not safe. I run after him and he goes from girl to girl. they are each glittering and smiling with sores under their masks that only I can see. I am dressed as a witch, not glittering, but grey and glamoured. A woman dressed in red with a devil's mask on comes towards me. 'Accept duality' she says. She sparkles brighter and then kisses me. Her lips cut me and then she glows bright and disappears. I am suddenly naked, and alone on a grassy hill. But I am starting to glitter with no mask on. he looks at me but I do not want him. I pass him by and up into the woods. I wake up and still do not recognize the people in my dream.

7.23

A young boy kills his father. I didn't want him to think it is okay but everyone else thought it was fine. My aunt hugged me and said she would see me soon. There were a million levels to the place we were at and I kept running up and down stairs to get to different people. Suddenly the stairs get to the ocean. My boyfriend and I were there and hear these girls talking and he asked one of them to a movie. She seemed to like him and I seem totally fine with it for some reason. Then I come back and they are starting to hold hands and I am beginning to wake up so I head but her... She falls limp into a chair and my boyfriend is pouty all the way home. He keeps getting mad at me so I push him out of the car. My godbrother and two best friends appear and we go to a party.

7.22

My mother was asking to see my nail polish. I didn't have my nails painted so I felt confused and shamed. Which didn't make sense. I showed her and she studied my nails for a moment. Then she said I wouldn't get a job this year.

(I see a pattern...job searching is bad for the soul)

7.21

Some stranger floats through my window and brings me new contact solution and leaves it on my dresser. Then it kisses my forehead and floats out.

7.20

I dream I was naked. All my parts would be gone at one point and all that was left was a soft light. No one else could see this change of me. So the light began to dim until I was nothing.

7.19

I am job hunting with my resumes and I go to blockbuster. The lady crumples up my resume and throws it away. I am hurt, but I go to the other worker and ask to see their manager. I follow him to the back room and it clicks over to me getting the job, but I am still searching for a job. I am in a van at night in the snow with some other women looking for jobs, like nannying or cleaning. My boyfriend wants to pick me up. I say they can drop me off at the gas station behind us. they all begin to look down at me and act like I wont get any job. I get out at a house with my most often friend and She walks me into a mansion to a hottub. She hugs a young girl and then we talk. She talks about my boyfriend, how he needs me to know he did something wrong. We talk and I get a message from him saying he doesn't have any money left, because he bought my friend some clothes and he is really sad because he knows that we are over. He is waiting in his car outside. She doesn't act sorry, but like she deserved it. He pulls up and I anticipate that I will not say anything. He and my friend are walking towards me when I suddenly take off all my clothes and throw them on the snowy ground and I wake up. Very cut off. Nothing woke me, just my dream was over.

7.01

1 (& others) would trade these devices that showed our emotions and general disposition on a screen and then forcing the person holding it to experience it. Then I was in a mansion for My best friends's Birthday party. There was something about her parents trying to rush her out the door and her not really having time for me.
Suddenly I was a woman in a town I do not know. These hawk-like creatures attacked and started taking some of the people and animals away. They were great giant birds. We were their food. They met with our council and they changed form into men. I was there. They said they were sorry for feeding on our people and said some of the men would sacrifice their freedom and live in our town to stay human and never fly, as a penance for what they had done. One man was stationed to my home. he tried to help me but I never was paying attention. I was looking at the sky all the time and he got angry with me. He would throw the food at me and I was so confused. He said he was sorry but then crumpled to the floor. I cleaned it all up and tried to share some but he kept knocking it all away. And I turned he saw my back and I felt blood dripping. It was bloody and scarred. He was suddenly at my back inspecting my bones that were jutting out. he was horrified and then immediately we sat down and he began an interrogation of me. I couldn't speak to say I was confused and I didn't know this woman I was. But I could say My Name Is Autumn. I told him I came here but they wouldn't let me fly so they came and held me down and tore my wings away with horses and chains. I relived that scene to the fullest. Then I woke up.

6.29

Dreampt about using my computer. I dreampt about my ex's face and then he was my boyfriend and then the face turned into a judge in a court room and I woke up early. Do not watch Law and Order before bed...or ever.

6.19

I was being chased by a woman and I run into a public bathroom. There are two stalls and one of the is bigger than the other. I ran into the small one to get  through a  window in there, but it was locked. She slammed the door open and I crawled under to the other stall. In that one the window was locked again and now there were two people chasing me. I could see their feet under the door and I knew there was a man. A few rape scenes flashed through my head from movies or my imagination I know not. So I screamed and pulled a knife and slide under the stall, knocking them out of the way. I stabbed the man through the top of his collar bone and he fell down. I had to grapple with the woman for a while until I finally woke up.

6.18

My boyfriend and I are at a dinner party and he drags me off to tell me that He gave my acid to his friends and he tripped with them without me and that I can't undersand. Then he says 'I don't like it with you anyways' and he shoves a piece of paper in my mouth and laughs. I wake up and realize I have some serious issues.
I dream my friends used pieces of cardboard as money and I suddenly become very rich.

6.17

I went to a concert with my boyfriend. While waiting in line he went to the bathroom and never came back. When I got inside and found our booth, I faked my name and got a first class seating and perks. The name I used was Nina something and they looked my name up, saw her picture and when I looked in a mirror I looked like her. I had short brown hair and was shorter and wearing pink of all things. I reached my box and Woody Allen was sitting there and knew me. Another person was there as well and I didn't know him at all. I didn't even remember who was playing at the concert.
I woke up for a bit.
Went back to sleep and dreampt about my dad giving me my presents. He gave me a cardboard box with my brother in it. then my brother handed me a MAC book! I was so pissed when I woke up.
(However, three hours after I woke up my father really did bring me in a mac book...0.o What fuck.)

6.16

I first dreamed of swimming in a white room with a large glass window on one side. I could see my reflection as I dove in. There was a young man to one side. It is not clear, but I believe we talked about safety. Then I 'cut' over to a scene of my stomach cut open and blood was dripping out between my fingers.
I then dreamed I was writing these dreams down and I would flip flop between remembering them and not. However, within this dream I remembered a dream or two I had the nights before.
I planned a trip across africa and my boyfriend wouldn't go with me. I go with some strangers and we go over what looks like a map, but it is 3D like in the cartoons when they do a montage of a trip. The map tells of all the adventures we have without me actually having them.
We are in the middle of the journey and out of every necessity, lost. We find an oasis and a spring and as I am drinking I notice a small creature. It is like a smurf but it is an orange color and it is a little fuzzy. It is smiling at me and as I am looking then suddenly they are all over the place. They are like celebrating something and I am not sure what it is. Then I realize they are celebrating my return...to somewhere. I have to crouch down to enjoy the celebrations, because to them I am a giant.

6.15

Three large rectangular boxes are all lined up and rotating around as if on an axel. One of which hold my mind. I cannot decipher which.